Relationship Rant: Expert Gives Dubious Advice on the Accidental "I Love You"
Look. As far as I'm concerned, this is totally flawed thinking. This is the thinking of a person who believes that Katherine Heigl romantic comedies are realistic. I am about as annoyed about this as I was when He's Just Not That Into You ended with Justin Long realizing that he actually was into Ginnifer Goodwin, thereby defeating the entire message of the book and movie.
I'm so tired of watching girls punish themselves over ambivalent guys. Why must you, ostensibly a woman with a busy life and important priorities, walk on eggshells around a dude just because he's too immature to deal with Grown-Up Love Feelings? Every girl deserves to be with someone who loves them equally and without fear, and if this guy isn't the guy who can say "I love you," without sharting, go find that guy! Because he's out there, and you're missing him.
The more advice like this we get ("Wait for him to realize it!" "Wait for him to grow up!"), the more girls reward and coddle immature dudes in the hopes that they'll change--but they're actually just giving them positive validation for their immaturity. You know how you have that guy friend who's always like "Nice guys finish last"? This is why. It's because we're chasing Manic Pixie Dream Boys and making excuses for their "intimacy issues" instead of just figuring they just weren't that into us and moving on, which is both the simplest reason and most liberating thing you can ever do for yourself when it comes to dating.
How about this? If he says it, he means it. If he doesn't say it, he doesn't mean it. See above for the definition of Occam's razor. Deviled eggs for everyone!
Think about all the sacrifices you've made for guys. Some of us get freakin' Brazilian waxes for these people. The least they can do is not be a*sholes. And the least you can do is not wait around for one.
Agree? Disagree?
More on "I Love You's"
In Defense Of Saying "I Love You" During Sex
Cohabitation Update: My Guy Said "I Love You, But..."
When Should You Say "I Love You?" Let's Go To The Twitter Feed...
Guyspeak: 25 Ways To Say "I Love You"
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