Lea Thau Strangers Podcast About Why Love Hurts

"Nothing went wrong. I think you're awesome, and I was attracted to you. The couple of times we went out, we had great conversation. But I had already started dating the person I'm currently dating now. I met her first, and things were starting to get serious with her. I'm not somebody who wants to be casually dating a lot of people," he says in the podcast.

That's really what it all came down to. He thought Lea was amazing and that they connected well, but he was at a more advanced point with another woman. It's comforting in a sense because at least he didn't say anything offensive, like that she'd been dreadfully boring or kissed like a fish. But, she wondered, was he just trying to protect her feelings? Lea acknowledges that if Robert had been totally in love with her, he wouldn't have chosen the other woman just because he'd started seeing her first. And, yes, that's true, but Robert says he could be happy with various women (probably including Lea), so it really does come down to timing for him.

Wondering if you should give this a try? It's one thing if the guy is polite and honest like Robert, but if he ghosts or is otherwise less than kind, that's a bit dicier. Of course if a guy disappears, you'll want to know why in the initial breakup stage. But months later, it may not be the best idea to dredge all of that up. If your urge is stemming from curiosity, then I'd say go for it if you're prepared to hear something you may not love. If you're still holding a candle for this guy, your question will come with an undercurrent of "what's wrong with me?" and his opinion on that is irrelevant. Instead of potentially giving this guy the chance to smash your self-confidence, let more time pass until you can see the situation clearly on your own.

Have you ever gotten in touch with a guy months after a breakup to ask why he really called things off? If you're going through a breakup now, check out this Glamour video about funny breakup coping strategies.