"I Don't Know How to Tell My Husband That I Don't Like Anal"

Hopefully, anyone you sleep with will be respectful of your boundaries. But sometimes, it's difficult to communicate these boundaries, especially when they change. How do you know whether you're not expressing yourself adequately or the other person is just not listening? Throwitaway1124567 faced this situation after she gave birth. Because she suffered from an anal tear during labor, she can't enjoy anal sex anymore.

"He recently bought an anal plug. I've been dreading having sex with him because he keeps trying to use it. I've told him it hurts and doesn't feel good, but he keeps insisting it just needs more lube or that I'm doing something wrong," she said.

"I'm starting to get really frustrated. He's a great guy, but he doesn't seem to understand this really isn't something I want to do anymore. Is there a way I can explain it without hurting his feelings?"

Here's what the rest of Reddit told her:

"You don't have to worry about hurting his feelings when you're denying him a sex act that is physically painful for you. 'Husband, I don't want to have anal sex anymore. Since I gave birth, it has been painful and not enjoyable for me. This isn't up for debate.' Bring it up outside of the bedroom. If he respects you, that should be the end of it." —ostentia

"Talk to him bluntly outside the bedroom. 'Honey, ever since the baby was born, anal is physically painful for me. Stop asking for it. My -ss is no longer on the menu.' And then just stop talking about it. If he initiates, shut him down entirely. Stop caring about hurting his feelings. He needs to grow up and get over it. Oh, and throw the plug away." —FlightyTwilighty

"This is not really cool. The one cardinal rule of any sort of sex play is that both parties have to be into it...'no' really does mean 'no,' and that should be the end of the discussion." —Shanisasha