Exactly What Rejection Feels Like for a Exactly What Rejection Feels Like for a Guy

This month I'm taking a break from talking about love to get into the other, more prickly side of romance: rejection.

I was forced to consider the subject the other night, when I was out at a bar watching my buddies go in for the kill (a.k.a. a woman's phone number or e-mail address). As each returned empty-handed, I recalled in cringing detail how striking out is the most embarrassing aspect of being single. Thank God, I thought more than once, I'm with my girlfriend, Strawberry.

For me, there were three especially painful types of rejection. The first: the Then Again, Maybe I Won't blow-off. I was at the receiving end of this once after chatting happily with a curly-haired brunette at a sushi bar. When I called her the next day, she deadpanned, "I'm watching a movie. I'll get back to you later." (She never did.) That was 15 years ago, and I still remember the Rolling Stones T-shirt I was wearing—and how exposed and silly I felt when she dismissed me. If you've ever wondered, Why didn't he call? after you clicked with a guy, he probably has a similar episode in his past. After that blow-off, I didn't bother picking up the phone unless there were major good vibes when I met a girl.

Next, there's the Screening Your Calls put-down: We leave you a message and never…ever…hear back. (And yes, we're pretty sure it's not that your voice mail malfunctioned or you couldn't hear one of the digits.) I'm hoping you ladies do this because it's easier than telling a poor bastard that, no, in fact, you will not be keeping in touch. What we wish you'd do instead, though? Lie. Say you have a boyfriend. This way, you don't hurt our feelings and it's case closed. (Unless the guy doesn't care that you're taken, in which case, he's a douche, and you should tell him so.)