'Riverdale' Season 2 Episode 9 Recap: The Black Hood Is Finally Unmasked

Update: The finger seems to belong to Svenson, the janitor, per a note left by the Black Hood. The Black Hood then calls Betty and says that Svenson—whose real name is Joseph Conway, the sole survivor of the Riverdale Reaper murders—has lost a lot of blood. The only way to save him is for Archie and Betty to "exhume the past" and determine where the "cardinal sin" of the town was committed. Like, what the fuck is even happening at this point? The crux of this Black Hood case is on the shoulders of this random janitor?!

To learn more about Svenson/Joseph Conway, Archie and Betty go to the Sisters of Quiet Mercy, the convent where he lived before getting adopted. They find out that when he was young, Svenson/Joseph Conway identified the wrong person as the Riverdale Reaper; a group of citizens took matters into their own hands and killed the man he accused, who turned out to be innocent. That was the cardinal sin. The nuns don't remember the people who murdered this innocent dude, but they say one of them, a woman, had white hair with a cherry-red stripe (a.k.a. Cheryl Blossom's grandmother, Nana Rose). Dun, dun, duuun!

Before we learn more about that, though, Jughead and F.P. have a stupid fight about the Serpent's drug cartel business. Penny Peabody really has this gang by the throat, man. F.P. straight-up says that whatever she wants, she'll get—no matter how many Serpents it takes. This is all ridiculously, tragically dull. Jughead says the solution to this situation is to murder Penny Peabody. Again, extreme, but he gets the other Serpents to agree to it. They kidnap Penny, literally cut off her Serpent tattoo, and drive her out of Riverdale. F.P.'s pissed about it.

Meanwhile, Veronica discovers that her parents bought Pop's Chock'lit Shoppe and lied to her face about it. She uses this as an incentive to pay for Fred Andrews' medical expenses with Hermione's credit card...without her knowledge. They have a big family blowout, and the truth about the Lodges comes out. But we don't know what that "truth" is—not yet.

This Black Hood nonsense is really getting out of hand. Nana Rose tells Archie and Betty the man Conway accused of being the Riverdale Reaper was buried alive. Betty's grandfather was allegedly one of the people who did it—and there's photographic proof. Betty starts freaking out about how the Black Hood is targeting her because of this connection. Archie says tonight's the night they unmask the Black Hood and end things, and this tense conversation concludes with Archie and Betty kissing. Um, WHAT?! In what world do you go from hysterics to making out in point-five seconds? I'm done.

Archie and Betty find the location of where the man accused of being the Riverdale Reaper was buried and go to it. They think Conway/Svenson could be there too. They dig up an empty coffin, and that's when the IRL Black Hood shows up with a gun. He orders Archie to get into the coffin and for Betty to shut it...and bury him alive. But the sound of police sirens startles the Black Hood: Betty hits him over the head with a shovel, unburies Archie, and they run away. But the Black Hood is gone! They start chasing after him and confront him with a gun to his head. Sexy Sheriff Keller comes in at just the right time, shoots the Black Hood, and unmasks him: It's Svenson/Conway, the janitor. This is the most disappointing reveal of all time.

Now it's happy Christmas time. Blah. Penelope Blossom's hooking up with some random dude. Betty got Jughead the "typewriter of champions," which means his pretentious prose will rage on for another season. Jughead got Betty some dumb book. Archie got Veronica a locket with their faces on it. Cute. They later kiss, and Veronica finally says, "I love you," but little does she know Archie and Betty were making out, like, five seconds ago. Someone anonymously snaps photos of Archie and Veronica kissing, though, so that's probably going to be a thing when the season returns.

Betty burns all her Black Hood research while wearing a twinkly Christmas sweater. But weirdly, she doesn't burn her black hood, and it's implied all this murderous drama "isn't over."

Parting thoughts: I officially don't care about the Black Hood. Happy holidays, people!

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This Riverdale Theory About the Black Hood's Identity Seems Right After Last Night's Episode